inviting managers to your wedding

A reader writes:

I’m getting married soon and was wondering how to navigate asking my two direct supervisors to the wedding. I’ve already asked one for their address, but I sent an email to the other one and she hasn’t responded (it’s been a few days). Should I interpret this as a way to avoid getting invited, so she won’t have to deal with the awkwardness of declining? I don’t have a particularly close relationship with either outside of work, but I look up to them a lot and have worked with them for a few years. Should I just drop it altogether? Am I overthinking this? I would love your thoughts.

It’s possible that not responding is her way of avoiding an invitation, but that would be pretty socially inept. Is she someone who’s generally on top of her email?

Regardless, these are grown-ups and they should be capable of graciously turning down invitations they don’t want to accept.

Now, personally, I don’t think I’d invite coworkers or managers to your wedding if you’re not close with them, so part of me wants to tell you to reconsider it … but then I’d want the tiniest wedding imaginable if for some reason I had to have one, so my opinion may be colored by that.

If you really want to invite her, why not just give her the invitation at work (no home address needed), and mention at the same time that you understand she may be busy but that you think highly of her and would love to have there if she’s able to attend?

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