update: my coworker is planning a “CEOs & Office Hoes” party

Remember the letter-writer last week whose coworker kept discussing his upcoming “CEOs & Office Hoes” party, to which she and other coworkers were invited? Here’s the update.

I just wanted to say thank you for answering my question and update on what happened. I didn’t actually get a chance to make use of your advice because talk of the party had quieted down a bit over the past few weeks, since I originally emailed you, and the party was this past weekend.

As well as my discomfort with it obviously being super demeaning to women, your and most of your reader’s responses made me realize that this was situation was an even more serious issue, particularly legally, than I had anticipated, and, as I mentioned originally, I didn’t want to get anybody into trouble. So, in the end, I thought it was better not to rock the boat for something that would be over and done with in a few days. I appreciated your advice though and read most of the comments also, and it was validating to hear that my judgement about this wasn’t off, and that it would have been worth speaking up over.

As was wondered, invitations were not issued on organization time or resources; the whole thing was organized via Facebook. The photos are predictably awful, including a couple that I was originally tagged in (apparently I was supposed to share the joke), of my fellow interns actually mocking our manager and a couple of other staff members we’ve done some work with, by captions like “X gone wild.” (Josh put up the photos so I have no idea whether that was the original intention, or just his ‘hilarious’ captioning skills.) Regardless, it’s definitely become clear to me that the respect I have for this nonprofit (which does really important work in an area that I’m really passionate about) and for my manager, and how willing she’s been to look out for us and help us learn, is obviously not totally shared.

I will be heeding your advice to break away from the intern clique, and am planning to get as much from the remaining month of my internship as I can, hopefully including forging connections that I can maintain, and that can help me going forward. Thank you again for taking the time to answer my question and for your readers sharing their thoughts also.

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