update: my coworker wants me to have a sleepover with her

Remember the reader whose coworker invited her to a sleepover? Here’s her update.

Thanks so much to you and your readers for all of your help!

The sleepover invitation seemed to fizzle out soon after I sent the letter. But while I stopped receiving follow-ups on having a sleepover, this coworker was suddenly inviting me to all sorts of things – charity walks in cities several hours away, get-togethers at her church, spa days, you name it. It got to the point where other coworkers started stopping me in the hall to poke fun at the situation (our office is pretty quiet, and everyone would overhear every invitation!). I still wanted to keep a separation between my work life and personal life (in fact, I’m currently job searching out-of-state, which has made it even harder for me to feel invested in social relationships at work). I decided to be straightforward with my coworker, saying that much of my free time out of work is tied up already. However, I’ve also added that I’d love to go out for coffee or lunch during the week. We’ve been able to go out for lunch several times, sometimes along with some other coworkers as well, and the strange invitations have stopped (for now). I hope that these get-togethers during our lunch hour will allow us to have some social interaction that has a time cap!

Again, thanks so much for all of the advice – it has helped me understand how to create boundaries with coworkers kindly but assertively.

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