update: my employer says I’m immature for not trusting their vague promises

Remember the reader whose manager accused her of being immature because she didn’t trust their vague promises to reward her in some indefinite way at some indefinite date? Here’s her update:

I asked for your advice a few months ago when my previous employer told me to “trust the company” when it came to my career. I ended up taking a new job in a different state. My new boss is a lot more open about my future and there seem to be so many paths I can take from here. I truly appreciate your advice — it gave me the courage to move on. Although my current status isn’t all that interesting, I think I have a pretty good (as in kind of crazy) last day story.

I gave two weeks notice and tried my best to wrap everything up before I left. Throughout my notice period, my boss panicked about how they were going to replace me. He talked over and over about how there was a plan for me, that I was walking away from a great opportunity. I asked for details but I was again told I’d have to trust the company.

On my last day, I was supposed to be there for the morning only to have a handover meeting with my interim replacement and my boss at my former boss’s request. I turned in my laptop, cell phone, credit card, etc. and started to wait. Two hours in, I gave up waiting and went to find my boss. He was standing in the hallway and so I asked if he was ready for me. He looked at me and said very snappy, “When I am ready, I’ll find you.” I bit my tongue and said politely, “That’s fine. I was just hoping to get on the road soon.” I was leaving town that day.

I went back to my office. About ten minutes later, my boss walks in. He says he is ready to collect my things. I told him that was done. I ask about the handover meeting and he says that we no longer need to have it. He gives me a card from the office, which was a very sweet gesture. I was touched for about 10 seconds. Then he starts to lecture me about how I need to learn to listen better in the future, referencing my inability to go along with the company’s plan. I nod along to this for 5 minutes. When he is done, he turns to me and states, “If you want to tell me what I should work on, that would be ok too.” I had so many different sarcastic, heat of the moment responses that I wanted to shout at him — particularly about listening. Instead I said, “No, I’m good. Thanks for the experience and I’ll miss the team.” I credit my ability to walk away from his bait to the advice I have read on this blog.

I talk to my replacement regularly and she is facing the same issues I did. I eventually found out what the unique, amazing opportunity was through the grapevine. It was an corporate finance position, a field I have no interest in. For all the times I stated that, I was shocked that was the big plan. Overall, I miss the great people I used to work with, but I am glad that I did not trust the company and took my career into my own hands.

This entry was posted in HR, Leadership. Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.